dutchster:

never tell me you have a surprise for me if it’s not a puppy. i will always be disappointed unless you’re getting me surprise puppies

(via artificialhusband)

4,496 notes

how to get a boyfriend

neptunain:

put peanut butter on a pinecone and roll it in bird seed. hang it up outside. wait.

(via ucantaff0rdme)

33,560 notes

demoncest:

merry christmas 

demoncest:

merry christmas 

(via ozdraviti)

42,633 notes

high-school-fling:

spicy-vagina-tacos:

freezerburnt-capsicle:

dontbeanassbutt:

boy, blowjobs sure are a mouthful

jeez, that pun was hard for me to swallow

penis

thanks for your contribution

(via ozdraviti)

152,154 notes

bigeisamazing:

jacking off before going to sleep is truly hit or miss because you either fall right to sleep or you sit in your bed for 20-30 minutes like

image

"why do i continue to put myself through this?"

(via kim-kardashian-crying)

9,686 notes

socialworkgradstudents:

korythedirtyracetraitor:

longlivexxxx:

[x]

she was dressed modestly to begin with though wtf

But obviously girl knees are so much more psychologically problematic to a developing adolescent than watching adults wield and flex the ability to humiliate powerless children with the excuse that the knees of children are inherently sexually stimulating

(via ozdraviti)

119,056 notes

(Source: mattgoop, via artificialhusband)

3,674 notes

"Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering."

Paulo CoelhoBy the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept (via feellng)

1,015 notes

(Source: only-by-night, via ozdraviti)

27,956 notes

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

refreshinglyclassic:

burningoleander:

midnight-emotive:

'if lesbians use dildos why don't they just have sex with a man?'

image

'if straight men like fucking women in the ass why don't they just fuck men?'

Finally, a brilliant response to a dumb question.

Perfect response to people who say stupid shit like that…

(via doctor-in-a-box)

220,129 notes